The Sin of Home Improvement?

Jack and Katy have been absent from our worship gatherings for the past four months.  They aren't mad, they aren't bored, and they haven't given up their faith.  They're simply preoccupied with the fixing up of their home.  They readily admit missing their church family, but it seems that home improvement is just more important right now.

This is a scenario that's becoming more and more commonplace:  worship within one's faith-community is taking a backseat to remodeled kitchens, replaced flooring, and reorganized garages. In the past five years, I've been amazed at the numbers of people who have chosen to miss our worship gatherings because of home improvement projects, including those considered leaders!

It just might be that home improvement is becoming a sin for some people.  Should our homes be more important than our active participation in the body of Christ?  The question seems ludicrous.  But the "actions" of more and more people betray the fact that they must believe this is so.  Our actions do speak louder than our words, and a person's (real) priorities are evidenced by what they do.

If the basic concept behind the New Testament's understanding of sin is "missing the mark", then it seems to me that home improvement is causing many people to sin.  Maybe it's not the remodeling and such that is itself the sin, but rather that such things contribute/lead to a sin of omission: choosing not to gather with fellow believers for worship. Either way, I see a problem here.

But what is it exactly that compels people to spend so much time, money and energy on their homes?  Do you see a problem here as well? Or is something else going on that I'm missing?

Comments

[Karl Thienes]

"But what is it exactly that compels people to spend so much time, money and energy on their homes?"

One reason is that our individualistic faith and mode of living combines with a lack of ritual, art, and sacred space in our churches ... this subtly makes us think that our private homes are more important and worthy of beauty and our time.

[Rev. Mike]

Question 1: What time do you hold your worship services?

Question 2: Why?

Question 3: What would change if you changed the time?

For roughly the past 15 years I have served as a pulpit supply in one capacity or another, and as a result, it has played havoc on my family's worship life in a community, at least one that would include me on a regular basis. We have been rather surprised at how few congregations consider the option of Saturday or Sunday evening fellowship, for whatever reason.

I read a lot of bloggers bad mouthing such considerations as thinking "attractionally" rather than "missionally." I don't see it that way. Where would you see yourself?

[DLE]

Very interesting that this came up considering what happened to us recently.

We missed church two Sundays ago because of a home improvement project that we underestimated time-wise. But let me say this: it was the first project we ever attempted in the 3+ years we've been in the home.

A few thoughts:

1. Karl is right in that our homes have become--for better or worse--our sacred spaces. The (demonic) feng shui craze compounded this and it has carried over due to cocooning after 9/11. I think you can also claim--and rightly so--that our churches have largely dressed down, becoming bland warehouses with little or no evidence of Christian symbolism or any grandeur that stirs the soul. My home, for instance, has more religious symbols in it than any three churches I've been in lately

2. The DIY phenomenon is partly to blame. I don't remember growing up that anyone did major home remodeling projects themselves. People hired professionals. Today, professionals charge upwards of $75 an hour--that ain't cheap. Our project was painting our kitchen and laundry room. It took two of us working almost non-stop between coats close to four complete days to finish. And those were fifteen hour days! Conservatively, two painters could have charged us $2000 dollars just in labor alone. If I am the steward of the money God has given me, I can think of a lot of things better to do with $2000+. Even buying all the equipment from scratch and having to repaint the laundry room (after the initial color was overpowering), the cost to us for everything was under $250. The fact that most DIY projects are cheaper and the projects themselves easier for the common man to pull off means that more people attempt the work.

3. Christianity has been replaced by "spirituality," even among Christians. Our materialism now extends to calling the items we buy "spiritual" because they are well-designed, nice to look at, and marketed as balms for the soul.

4. Postmodernism, Emergent, the rise of house churches, and even the creaky old small group movement have demystified church buildings as some place set apart. We've even taken the uniqueness of meeting in that building away. And if I pray, worship, take communion, dine, study, and fellowship in my small group of four couples, then what is the more impersonal large group meeting for (especially if we have stripped the transcendence and the power of the Spirit operating in large groups from our assemblies?) Talk about shooting oneself in the foot! If there is a villain here, just look in the mirror!

5. You get enough people in a church and sooner or later everything is going to look like a trend just because of sheer numbers. You have a hundred families in a church and you can bet at any time fifteen are not in the seats on Sunday for some reason or other. If three of those are doing home remodeling projects (which almost have to be done on weekends because of the nature of our stressful work situations--see below), it seems like everyone is doing it.

6. Because we are working more hours than ever in our jobs, the only time for DIY is on the weekends. Something has to give and it winds up being church. Christians have got to start speaking into the workplace and start coming up with ways to help people cope with the ever-increasing work burdens we have or else it's only going to get worse. This is a pet issue for me and I see no one in the church acknowledging it. It's like our work lives do not exist, even though they consume more of our day than anything else. When do I have the time to be an "overcomer" if I spend ten hours at work a day and have a two hour commute?

7. Bragging rights come with DIY. With more and more people feeling like they have lost control of even the menial aspects of their lives, this means something. I may feel powerless to stop our cultural decline, but by golly I painted my kitchen and laundry room myself! See how that intoxicates?

This is getting long, and I could go on for about ten more, but I'll stop here. Hope this spurs on the conversation.

Oh, and DP, glad Paradoxology is out of its coma!

[Chris]

Great thoughts from all of you.

Karl, I've never considered before how we consider our homes as more worthy of beauty than places of worship. We (protestants) are notorious for filling our homes with "art", but not our churches.

Mike -- I seriously considered Saturday or Sunday night as an option. None of our leadership team was interested in making the commitment to serve at those times in order to make it happen (e.g. musicians, nursery workers, etc.). In some ways, I've noticed a real "gimme" spirit at work in our community (although I'm sure it's not just our community). However, we did start a new faith-community on Saturday nights that's still in place: Paradox. Denominationally, my Superintendent is encouraging us to consider the birthing of "house churches." Attractional and missional need not be mutually exclusive -- at least I don't think so.

That said, I've also noticed many people following the principle of only doing one "outing" per weekend. If we have a church event on a Friday or Saturday, they won't show up on Sunday. If their kid plays in the marching band and they have a parade on Saturday, they stay home on Sunday. My hunch, from this angle, is that a Saturday night or Sunday night "option" wouldn't make any difference at all in their attendance practices.

Dan -- Wow, what a list! Lot's of truth there about the DIY phenomenon.

Everyone -- Is the home improvement craze simply the most recent expression of the "keeping up with the Jones' " mentality that surfaced in the 50's? Have people always stayed home from the churches they say they're committed to, or are the absences of today somehow unique?

[DLE]

Chris, you wrote: "Is the home improvement craze simply the most recent expression of the "keeping up with the Jones' " mentality that surfaced in the 50's?"

I'm not sure. The greatest asset--far and away--that most people own is their home, and it is taking on greater importance for that reason. My parents' second home cost $32,000 in 1972 at a time when my father made probably 50% more than that in income a year. It was a two-story, three bedroom house with a full finished basement. We sold that house for $180,000 in a down market. Today, few people make a yearly salary 50% higher than the initial cost of their home. Housing prices have far outstripped income, making a home the strongest asset in most people's portfolios.

As such, a house must keep up with styles if it is to remain sellable. And with the average family moving every seven years, it MUST be kept up. Renovations not only keep a house sellable, but provide a better living environment for the family should they not move. Some modifications, like a deck, actually add more than 100% of their cost to the price of a home. In light of this, it would be poor stewardship NOT to make those kinds of modifications. You can call that keeping up with the Joneses if you wish, but if you purposefully let your greatest financial asset fall behind the times, you only have yourself to blame if it does not sell when you want it to OR does so at below what the market rate should be for something comparable.

You also have to factor in that interest rates are very low and a home equity line of credit is almost free compared to what it was when my parents bought their house. People are leveraging their assets (in this case the house) to further that same asset. It definitely makes sense to use loan money to improve the house. Most people understand this and make the necessary renovations with equity loans.

It seems to me that people are being smart with their homes rather than making those changes just to keep up with what their neighbors are doing.

[Chris(tine)]

Good questions, DP. Not easy, but good.

Brings up an uncomfortable memory for me. When we bought our house about 13 years ago, our pastor at the time (not our current pastor or church) preached about this very phenomena - that too many young couples poured their money and time into buying a house, and then often neglected the church and the ministries that they had been involved in. I seem to remember that he encouraged considering not buying, but renting, so that we could stay more focused on the important things.

Then a year or so later I heard some of the details of how he acquired his house - and it sure seemed like he had taken advantage of some friendships and an elderly couple to be able to buy the house. Not sure of the details - but it definitely seemed pretty important to him to own this house, not just rent it.

Not relating that to say anything to you personally - just that it's sure a complex issue. The "keeping up with the Jones'" remodeling phenomena is going gang-busters around here - houses are being torn down all around us, and homes that cost 3 and 4 times what we paid for ours are going up, constantly. It's scary. And confusing, sometimes, about what our priorities should be.

[Chris]

Chris(tine), maybe God has truly called some people to be salt and light in a specific neighborhood like your own, where not being consistent with everyone else could actually become a hindrance to the gospel.

The rent vs. own thing is also multifaceted. Owning might well be more consistent with good "stewardship" of the resources God has given, whereas renting might be poor stewardship. Renting is also commonly associated with the disenfranchised in our culture -- and it's great to see organizations (and even cable TV companies) give people homes and/or radical remodeling. Here in our town, a real estate broker gave a new home being built to a needy family -- it was very cool.

What do you think? Is it a "kingdom" thing to lift people out of poverty and disenfranchisement by giving them a home, so that their limited income would go WAY farther, and their reality thus transformed?

I know I've wandered a bit there, but I'm honestly interested in this.

[davidt]

Remodel is no sin. It's a part of life. Sometimes pastors get worried when numbers are low and they (we) get a bit paranoid.

[Chris]

davidt -- I avoided any sort of "blanket statement", suggesting that all remodeling was sin. I only suggested that for "some" people, home remodeling projects may in fact be sin. Are you suggesting that this cannot be a possibility?

[david]

maybe it has nothing to do with their SINFULNESS (this all sounds pretty judgemental-some people are not ready for the intimacy that comes in a small group setting) but trying to see the good in them perhaps these great folks simply wanted to do these repairs so they can host a small gathering at their home?

[Chris]

David, should "shepherds" in the body of Christ ever be concerned about people's spiritual growth and what "might" be hindering or hurting them? I often worry that popular notions of radical egalitarianism distort our faith-beliefs, insisting that Christianity must be an individualistic faith: self-validating, self-contained, and without the moral or practical implications of "community."

I may have "read" your comments incorrectly, but your response concerns me a little -- especially by playing the "judgmental" card.

Of course, it's possible that Jack and his wife (their names are pseudonymns, of course) are remodeling because it is God's perfect will for them. But knowing them quite well, my heart (and what I sense may be God's Spirit) tells me otherwise. Is it wrong for me to even suggest the topic I have for this post? Are all such pastoral concerns to be discredited as judgmental? If so -- and I kinda doubt you actually believe it so -- then what do we do with the Pastoral Epistles? They seem to model something far bolder than what I have here.

[Ryan Sharp]

I'm with ya man. It's a bummer when you value a weekly gathering and find that others just don't.

I think it is the curse of a pastor/leader/shepherd to want people to want to be at the things/places that you are at. I think the reason most of us are in 'ministry' is to help people to 'give up' things. But you cannot bring change unless change is requested, you know?

Sorry, I am probably just reading my own stuff into this. But if I am or not, be encouraged that I have been discouraged by the same thing.

[Chris]

Ryan, thanks for the encouragement. It doesn't bother me that Jack and Katy aren't where I'm at -- no ego issues here. But I worry for them. I guess some people "say" they need help with their spiritual lifes, but when it comes down to it, may not be willing to expend the effort. For far too many people in the institutional Church, their faith tends to be more one of convenience than of conviction. Does that makes sense?

You said:
"you cannot bring change unless change is requested" -- ah... very true. Yet, even a "request" often holds little weight.

Lord, have mercy on us all.

[david]

chris, you have already convinced me that regardless of your 'title' you are pastoral in gifting … thanks for that gentle response ... this is NOT to be under estimated … to me this is not only a biblical mandate it is also of critical importance an age where the most 'coveted' (compensated!) gifting is that of administration ... that speaks volumes ... but i digress ... back to the questions at hand:

you said: should "shepherds" … be concerned about people's spiritual growth and what "might" be hindering or hurting them?
Obviously, however the discussion is polarized and that’s not where the difficulties exist … chris i am truly ashamed at how extremely aquatinted i am with the natural tendencies of a young pastor to over assume the importance of their own ‘labor in the word’ . . . the associated feelings of disappointment as people ‘vote with their feet’ for OTHER THINGS . . . that’s probably as difficult to hear as it was to say. . . most often those deceptive feelings flourish in an environment of hard work and diligence … (BTW it was not my intention to play the ‘judgmental card’) … an increase in judgmental feelings however is where it starts for me … this is a dangerous ‘emotional trap’ that is very real for many pastors/leaders … and it is highly probable that your friends may be not only be exempt from its effects, it is also likely that they are oblivious to its tempting presence as well … (perhaps i’m simply projecting the experience of me and my friends onto you) … if that’s’ so please forgive me …
I have found that in situations like this you (and the members of the group) could communicate your own commitment to them by simply ‘walk away from biblical studies’ (temporarily) and walking over to their house for ‘free labor’ ... historically I have greatly underestimated the value of doing things together as a community to groups … even if these folks don’t reciprocate when the work is over in the end the bonding that can occur over meals prepared together and plaster is often much more effective than a year of ‘study’
. . . in my mind this ‘approach’ is a fundamental differentiator between the emergent church and the institutional church mindsets … for emergent types one of the most fundamental aspects of faith is the relational/missional living aspects . . . for the institutional church doctrinal purity is paramount . . . thus the centralized (in my opinion overemphasis on bible principles and bible studies) over Jesus and John’s words emphasizing relationships between us as ‘ultimate’ . . .
you said: I often worry that popular notions of radical egalitarianism distort our faith-beliefs, insisting that Christianity must be an individualistic faith: self-validating, self-contained, and without the moral or practical implications of "community."
Its not pseudo-humility but I’m not to smart sometimes … As I understand egalitarianism it has more to do with authoritarian environments and the removal of inequalities between people and people groups and less to do with the current problems facing the church related to the problem you’ve indirectly raised regarding the intrinsic foundation and propensities within protestantism dominated by a theological momentum aimed at greater separation, conflict and divisions which are (silently) considered ‘necessary evils’ administered for the perceived greater good … for the sake of ‘doctrinal purity’ … leaving our brothers at that altar . . . sacrificed . . .
you are absolutely right in identifying the cultural weaknesses in the culture with an overemphasis on ‘felt needs’ as contrasted with the ‘REAL needs’ (greater levels of discipline, higher levels of commitment, and the establishing life’s priorities) that commonly go unrecognized and undiscussed because we lack the depth of relationship required to have than kind of conversation . . . however I sincerely believe that more inductive bible studies or small group discussions will not grow people in these areas . . . as you (and the group under your leadership I assume) commit to them, they MAY over time positively respond and commit to you and that group … all to often we (chr’ns) sadly become weary however in our well doing . . . don’t worry I speaking to myself now more than I’m speaking to you . . . but since its your blog and you posed the issue you “get to” indulge me or listen to me simply reflect on my own sins . . . thanks for doing that BTW . . . sorry for the long response … but confession is good for the soul …

peace :::

[tammy]

i can't wait to sell my house so i don't have to work in the yard and on the things that always need to be fixed in the house.

but it would cost me twice as much to rent as to continue my current house payments. so i'll probably be here for a long time.

anyway --

i like a clean and comfortable home. i don't like a home that rules me in any way. (the home was made for man, not man for the home.) a project that takes too long, feels like it's ruling me. so we only do little things, and very few of them a year. and only with money that we already have.

so our house is not completely up to date. but it serves us well.

it's easy for me to emphathize with DP's perceptions here, having been a pastor's wife for 20 years. however, i also emphathize with the stresses of working 45-50 hour weeks, and the fact that going to a church service on the weekend really is a sacrifice at times. if i have a few other activites planned for the weekend, adding church to that makes it feel like i had no down time at all. we have to take care of ourselves if we're gonna last for the long haul of life. sometimes we just need to rest a little more.

finding the balance is tough, the other couple of weekend activities are not remodeling the house, but rather have to do with the people whom we love -- our parents and nearly adult children. i tend to choose the people i love over a church service, if i have to make the choice in order to maintain my own sanity.

[Rachel]

This is a fascinating thread!

I think home improvement has many appeals -- as others have noted, it's affordable (good use of one's money) and it's a way one can accomplish measurable things (as opposed to the professional work many of us do, where progress is less visible than, say, in building or painting). I'm also reminded of the Shaker adage "hands to work, hearts to God," inasmuch as work can be sanctifying -- and while it's easier for that to be true when one is building a house for a needy family, it can also be true when one is putting one's hands to work fixing one's own dwellingplace.

But I think this taps into a larger question, which is: why do so many people who say that religion is important to them not bear that out by attending church/synagogue/whatever? And what, if anything, should clergyfolk do about that? I'm not sure I have answers to either of those questions, but I think they're worth asking.

[avalon]

... as opposed to the "church improvement" projects church leaders are endlessly trying to recruit people into.

[Chris]

avalon,
I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to or trying to say. My guess is that you've recognized that some (or perhaps many) churches busy people in their own "projects" which may in fact be as problematic as excessive home improvement projects. But I guess we'll have to wait and let you expand your thoughts here a bit more.

[Joan]

Home improvement projects are undoubtedly very stressful and expensive both in time and money. The best advise I can give is to plan well before starting the project.

The bigger the project, the higher the chances Murphy's Law will come into play (if anything can go wrong, it will).
Budget your time and money according to the worst case scenario. There's nothing worse than finding out halfway through a job that it will cost you more than you anticipated. But it's a great feeling when you finished under budget and within deadlines.

[Cara Fletcher]

Home improvement sometimes can be very boring and obsessing.Last year we needed three months to renovate our home.I was so tired after that.

[Remodeling Fool]

This is certainly an interesting topic, one that I would not have expected to read. There are the typical reasons that people choose not to go to services: football, chores, shopping, laziness and lack of faith. But to hear that remodeling is becoming a serious problem is amazing.

While I have spent many a days, nights & dollars on remodeling my own homes, I hate to admit it, but the available time usually ends up being on Saturdays and Sundays - times when service is being held.

Am I a sinner? Sure hope not.

[Chris]

Remodeling Fool,

Of course you are a sinner. And so am I and everyone else. The greater sin here though, is probably what you and I and others fail to do because of our home improvement priorities, not that home improvement is - in and of itself - a sin. I've long been convinced that our greatest sins are sins of "omission," rather than the tragic overemphasis we have placed on the sins we "commit."