Flashback at Emergent - San Diego

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Something happened to me while attending the Emergent Convention that I haven't blogged about -- until now. It was something personal. Something painful. And something that I know I need to write about. It was a flashback I had while blogging from near the exhibits -- a flashback of my son, Jeffrey.

It's odd, but when you lose a child -- so much about them freezes in time. And in my case, I can spot a 15 month-old child in a crowd without any effort at all (that's how old Jeffrey was when he died). Any 15 month-old toddler stirs up memories for me, but the little guy I saw that afternoon at Emergent -- oh my! He had the same kind of hair, some similar facial features and mannerisms, and he was wearing overalls (which Jeffrey somehow managed to be wearing in most our photos).

It was the little boy pictured on the left (above) who crossed my path at Emergent. And the boy on the right is Jeffrey. You know, I suppose a lot of people won't see the resemblance, but that doesn't matter. For me, it was like looking back in time. This little boy stayed right in front of me for at least 20 minutes, and I soaked up every one of those minutes. In a strange kind of way, I took it as being a gift from God -- a chance to reflect on how much I love and miss my son. Yes, it hurt. But that was okay, because the pain reminded me (still is, actually) that my memories of Jeffrey are still very much alive and well -- and memories, of course, are all that I have now.

After the little boy left with his mommy that afternoon, I stopped blogging, and began thanking God for this amazing and unexpected "interruption." It blessed me in ways that all of the workshops, and speakers, and multisensory experiences combined couldn't have. Who would have figured?

If you'd like to read the story of how Ingrid and I survived the loss of our son, click here.

::.. Day 29 ..:: Prayers of Biblical Hope

Consider this excerpt from today's prayer:

"Plant seeds of hope in the downcast (p. 46)."

When I pray this, I really need to add the words "through me" -- plant seeds of hope in the downcast through me. This is not someone else's work. This needs to be my work. So, I need the eyes, the ears, the heart to recognize who the downcast are, and to know what I should do. May that be so, Lord. And maybe today end up being extraordinary!

Choosing Theology as one's "Lens"

There are many "lenses" through which people seek to view and understand life. Often, especially under modernity, these have been the sciences -- and the disciplines associated with many of the sciences have gradually been embraced by believers, affecting how they perceive the realities of life and respond to them. Now, don't get me wrong. I think that history, sociology, pyschology, mathmatics (esp. statistics), etc. have been and will continue to be enlightening and helpful. But what I'm worried about is how theology often takes a backseat to these other disciplines. Maybe it's our "modern arrogance" -- the idea that our culture is far more "advanced" than those which were before us.

Yesterday I began reading Paul Hansen's, The People Called: The Growth of Community in the Bible. And something he said straight away caught my attention:

"...my underlying belief [is] that the essential quality of biblical community can be grasped only if historical, sociological, and philological methods are placed in the service of theological analysis... (p. 7, italics mine)."

It's fairly safe to say that the emerging generations are yearning for "authentic community" - a qualitative realization of community that, ultimately, the modern sciences cannot fully provide. The fading of modernity, however, is causing us to look to the past in search of answers for the future. And for followers of Christ, that search is helping us reconnect with the primary role that theology should play in our lives -- IT should be the lens through which we evaluate all else. Theology should be at the top of the "pecking order" in our lives, not simply an "option" we occassionally call upon for inspiration.

::.. Day 28 ..:: Prayers of Biblical Hope

This kinda jumped out at me from today's prayer...

"We've lost our appetite for genuine change of life. We've gotten used to things being broken and warped (p. 45, italics mine)."

I think this is too true too often. We call things "normal" are that far from what God "intended", and employ a polemic of normalcy to rationalize away any remaining sense that we should or must change. God help us.

Reclaiming the Role of "Lament"

When was it that we stopped pouring out our souls to God in the midst of his people?
When was it that we decided only to allow happy, uplifting, positive songs to fill our worship times?
When was it that we no longer esteemed or publically exclaimed the desperate cries of the psalmist?

Psalm 102:1-10 (NLT)
A prayer of one overwhelmed with trouble, pouring out problems before the Lord.

Lord, hear my prayer!
Listen to my plea!
Don't turn away from me
in my time of distress.
Bend down your ear
and answer me quickly when I call to you,
for my days disappear like smoke,
and my bones burn like red-hot coals.
My heart is sick, withered like grass,
and I have lost my appetite.
Because of my groaning,
I am reduced to skin and bones.
I am like an owl in the desert,
like a lonely owl in a far-off wilderness.
I lie awake,
lonely as a solitary bird on the roof.
My enemies taunt me day after day.
They mock and curse me.
I eat ashes instead of my food.
My tears run down into my drink
because of your anger and wrath.
For you have picked me up and thrown me out.

So many of us have become wearied by the commodification of the gospel, and how the institutionalized church has bowed to a consumer mentality. We're so focused on providing people with a positive, uplifting experience, that we've forgotten what it means to be human. Consider the following wisdom, recently offered by Sally Morgenthaler:

"Let's admit it. We all have days, weeks, months, and -- in some cases, years -- when the hand of God seems far from us. We struggle with doubt, depression, and emptiness. Our questions and prayers linger, seemingly unanswered. Ironically, Jesus joins us in our pain. I sometimes feel that our songs make people push the delete button on their inner life. Sad is only permissible for one measure. And, perish the thought, it's never OK to be angry or to doubt God's goodness or sovereignty. That would be blasphemous. So we don't sing about such feelings. Which is interesting, because the Psalmist...certainly sang about them. But the Christian subculture in North America is, if anything, repressive. So, in keeping with our penchant for emotional editing and denial, we compose song lyrics only from psalm verses that we deem positive, excising nearly every expression of doubt, confusion, struggle, and lament (Worship Leader, March/April 2004, p. 14)."

::.. Day 27 ..:: Prayers of Biblical Hope

Here's today's excerpt:

"Do what laws can never fully accomplish: Establish righteousness by transforming people to become righteous."

Why should anyone listen while we cry out for righteousness in our world, when we ourselves act in unrighteous ways?

::.. Day 26 ..:: Prayers of Biblical Hope

Today's excerpt:

"We cannot claim to have fully lived out the righteousness of Christ. We have yet to practice justice in all our dealings... Make us righteous in practice (p. 43)."

Christ is my only real hope of breaking free from the curse of individualism, in order to be all that God intends for me to be.

::EC Reflections:: Dallas Willard, part 3 (Healing Rooms)

No. Dallas Willard did not talk about "healing rooms." But he did have something interesting to say about healing:

Look for this new emerging trend: if your doctor doesn’t lay hands on you and pray for you when you go to see him, you should sue him for malpractice – and the reason for this is because it [i.e. the laying on of hands and prayer] has been widely proven as making such a huge difference in health care [Dallas cited a couple of medical journals here that I didn't write down].

And this has really got me thinking. If healing fails to be normative within the kingdom work of the church, then the world may well seek to corner-the-market on it. And, in case you're wondering -- I would be against any commercialization of healing among followers of Jesus. But are we ministering healing to people on a regular basis? By healing, I hear mean it in a holistic sense (emotional, relational, spiritual, physical, etc.).

Back to Dallas Willard. In talking about the current recognition and embracing of healing prayer in our culture-at-large, Dallas highlighted the fact that the "spiritual" part of us is being taken seriously by medical professionals like never before, and then shared this quote with us:

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” (T. D. Chardin)

How then, should followers of Jesus lead the way in healing? One possibility that I recently discussed with a thirty-something house church pastor is the "healing rooms" approach. Set up like a doctor's office, yet completely free-of-charge, trained team members will pray for whoever walks through their doors. Aparently, in many places (like the healing rooms in San Diego), people are often lining up outside just to be prayed for.

'Shouldn't this be happening within the church,' some may wonder? That's a valid question, but didn't Jesus heal outside of the synagogue/temple? And didn't people hear where he was at when healing people, and then flock to him in hopes that they too might be healed? And isn't the general population becoming increasingly suspicious of "churches"? I'm not exactly sure how much of if any of this matters, but I'm fascinated by Dallas' prediction concerning the widespread acceptance of "healing" and am wondering how Christ's disciples should respond. Any thoughts?

**To see all my posts from the Emergent Convention in one place, visit my March archive**

::.. Day 25 ..:: Prayers of Biblical Hope

Worship. That's the theme of today's prayer from Seek God for the City 2004: Prayers of Biblical Hope. Here's what grabbed me this morning:

"We do not have to persuade the Father to lovingly seek worshipers. His passion is an ancient, vast, and forceful yearning beyond description (p. 41)."

Maybe that should be our aim in worship -- to tap into an ancient, vast, and forceful yearning ourselves in worshiping our Creator. Dare we even imagine to worshipfully yearn for God as much as he yearns for us?

::EC Reflections:: Multisensory Encounters

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Once again this year, the Emergent folks did a terrific job at providing people with some great opportunities to connect with God multisensorally. In addition to completely unique images and video being played on all four walls of the general session ballroom simultaneously, and the tables set up in the back for people to extemporaneously paint or sculpt whenever and however they were inspired, Emergent multisensory gurus did an amazing job creating an experiential journey that followed a medical office motif.

At any time during the general sessions, people were invited to enter what was basically a clinic for the soul. Participants began by removing their shoes and putting on a white hospital gown before moving through the various "stations" -- all designed for a journey inward. One of these stations even involved zipping yourself up in a "body bag" while you contemplated life and death. At the final station, participants were invited to type up a report of their "findings" so-to-speak. Wow!

These "experiences" were nowhere near being "cute" or "trendy" or "slick" -- they were all deeply contemplative and substantive. Thank you, EC team!